Women, be on heightened alert if you hear any of the following phrases in the workplace. All statements below were said straight to my face during work hours:

• “You are the best emergency manager I have ever worked with, but you are too… [insert any sexist comment you want: difficult, emotional, aggressive, loud].”

• In a staff meeting, a colleague said, “Someone really needs to put you in your place.”

• An HR director opined, “You are best served to taper your passions.”

• When I started a women’s mentorship group, my male executive leadership coined it the “Subversive Women’s Club.” My response? I made us all beauty queen sashes that said Subversive Women’s Club in bright red that we wore to every meeting!

• After looking me up and down, “You are Andrea Davis? Um, I wonder how you moved up through the ranks so quickly.”

• “We have ways of working here. Never talk directly to anyone in the field; you must go through me first.

So How Do You Counteract The Misogyny Matrix ™? With Rednado’s Help & a little professional Jujitsu!

People will always express their doubts about you either verbally or through facial expressions (e.g., eye-rolling) because it is easier to be critical than supportive. Here are a few tips that I have used in my career.

• Smile and make eye contact with them.

• Say “hmm” or “OK.”

• Never accept bad behavior. Politely call someone out and don’t apologize because they are uncomfortable with you not tolerating it.

• When dealing with a bully conversationalist, say, “I haven’t spoken in the past five minutes. I am going to jump in now.”

• When dealing with someone who stole or took credit for your work. Via email or publicly, say “Thank you so much for highlighting my work. I would like to appreciate the team that supported it… [list names].”

• Don’t underestimate the incredible power of not saying anything and taking copious notes. Silence can be deafening, especially to Douchebags and Cretins.

• If you are in a meeting, whether in person or virtually, and people are being abusive to you, get up and walk out (put in chat you are leaving). You will be asked what you are doing. Say, “You are being disrespectful and wasting everyone’s time. When you are ready to have a productive meeting, I will return.” (Yes, I realize this takes a degree of moxie, and I have only done this twice in my career, both when I was in a position of authority. But seriously, life is way too short to put up with abusive behavior. People will only change if you call them out.)

  Finally, schedule a training session with Rednado to learn more on how you can stand up for yourself!